Catriona Gray (left) and Nicole Cordoves. 2 Steps Back Podcast/YouTube
It's common for people to dread being single, with some of them equating it to not being desired or loved.
But beauty queen-host besties Catriona Gray and Nicole Cordoves are here to remind everyone that singlehood is not a season of incompleteness, but a time for self-discovery and growth.
In their latest "2 Steps Back" podcast, Gray and Cordoves talked about "the quiet insecurity of never being pursued," responding to a letter sender who questioned her self-worth as she is still NBSB (no boyfriend since birth) at the age of 24.
Gray said she considers singlehood as an "equipping season," where she gets to invest in herself by learning new skills, trying new hobbies and experiences, and meeting new friends.
"I think there's a joy in wanting to do it for yourself. It's just an extra bonus that someone will benefit from that later on, like when they come into your life," she said.
Gray went on: "Ideally that would be wonderful, but at the end of the day, even if it doesn't happen, at least you gained a new skill. You learned something for yourself. Maybe you've become healthier, picked up a habit, found new hobbies, or met new friends. There's so much to be gained from the investment of self."
"This is a very special season where it's just you, and you get to do what your heart desires. And that's actually really fun," said the former Miss Universe, who is now enjoying singlehood after her called-off engagement with actor Sam Milby.
Cordoves shared the same sentiment, while also touching on people's natural tendency to want to change parts of themselves as they prepare for a relationship.
And while she said it's not inherently a bad thing, it should be done for self-growth and to be a better person overall, not to revolve around other people's standards.
Citing her own experience, Cordoves said: "For years, I made sure I knew how to cook, to be a cleaner version of myself because I'm so burara. I'm a messy person, I wish I wasn't, but I try to be organized because what if I live with my future husband? I feel 'yun 'yung mga steps na both parties should be doing naman talaga."
"It's not necessarily a bad thing to want to change yourself. It's more of adding to who you are in that process of self-discovery, not to box yourself," she stressed. "Huwag mong ipasok 'yung sarili mo sa box ng ibang tao."
Both Gray and Cordoves recognize that the feeling of insecurity is real, but they believe that looking inward instead of seeking external validation is key to being happy in life, whether as a single person or as someone in a relationship.
"Yes, it is easy to see this as a season of lack. Like maybe I'm the problem, I'm not lovable, may kulang ako," Gray said. "Or you can see this as an opportunity for me to learn about myself, invest into myself, make myself happy."
Cordoves, for her part, said it might actually be better for people to start dating at a later age, when they have already established a strong sense of self.
"At least when you reach a certain age and when you have super maximized your season of singleness, it's so much better dating. 'Yung mental fortitude mo is stronger."
Gray agreed, saying, "You know what you like and don't like, you know what your non-negotiables are. I think going into a relationship with a clear picture of what that looks like allows you to really discern, like is this person worth investing time into?"
Watch Gray and Cordoves talk about the joys of being single in their podcast below: