Queer couple Lance Arevada and Tristan Cobalida.
MANILA — In a society where queer relationships often battle discrimination, two young achievers are turning the page — and writing a new narrative with summa and magna cum laude distinctions beside their names.
Lance Arevada, who recently graduated summa cum laude from Ateneo de Manila University with a degree in Communication Arts, and his partner Tristan Cobalida, a magna cum laude graduate of International Studies from the Polytechnic University of the Philippines-Manila, have not only excelled academically but have also built a queer relationship grounded in support, presence, and purpose.
Their story began on a dating app in April 2023, when both were studying at different universities.
“We matched and then, nakalagay sa kaniya, ‘wholesome only,’” Lance recalled. “That was the first time that I’ve connected with someone using that app na talagarang purely wholesome.”
A few days later, they met in Santa Mesa, spent time watching videos on Tristan’s iPad, and by the next day, “we both wanted to date exclusive agad,” Tristan shared.
Though both juggled packed schedules – Lance as editor-in-chief of Matanglawin, the official Filipino student publication at Ateneo, and host of the podcast "Ganito Kasi’ Yan"; and Tristan as student council officer and SOGIESC educator with various non-government organizations — their ambitions never eclipsed their bond.
“Presence really counts for us,” Lance shared.
“That mere presence really means a lot… alam ko, na, kung ano man yung burden namin sa mundo, pareho. Pareho namin siyang kini-carry. Gano man siya kabigat, magkasama kami.”
Tristan added that even the simplest gestures meant everything.
“Since I started working na… May times na sobrang busy niya sa thesis… pupunta ako sa kaniya madaling araw na, para lang magkatabi kami matulog,” he said. “Pero… the fact that you're there and you're showing up, sometimes it's just enough.”
They were aligned from the start: academics came first. “Una-una pa lang, when we started dating, we made it clear na agad na gusto namin priorities yung studies namin above all else,” said Tristan.
Lance agreed, adding, “We supported each other in everything… whether that’s academics, our orgs, or other priorities.”
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MORE THAN A VIRAL POST
Their relationship, once private, went viral on social media, garnering both praise and ridicule, including comments mistaking them for siblings or worse. Yet the couple faced it with humor and calm.
“Kami nga, yung hobby namin these days, binabasa namin yung hate comments, pinagtatawanan namin,” Lance laughed. “Kami at ng families namin, alam namin yung katotohanan.”
For Tristan, visibility became an extension of advocacy: “It’s important to show that people like us can have successful love lives and personal lives together.”
As a femme non-binary person, he acknowledged how queerness, especially femininity, is still marginalized in local dating culture.
“I want them to take away na hindi hindrance yung pagiging femme… because with authenticity, that’s when people get to really see you more and appreciate you.”
Both recognize the privilege of having supportive families.
“We know our experience is an exception and not a reality for many young queer Filipinos out there,: Lance said. [Fortunately], we were so loved by our family na, it didn’t matter what our identities were.”
Beyond their personal milestones, the couple believes their story carries a message for the queer youth navigating identity, love, and self-worth.
“It's very important, yung visibility ba of our stories, especially to younger queer kids out there,” Tristan said. “[That] it's possible to have this kind of relationship with your partner, your relationship with parents… [and] it can be normalized in our society.”
Lance added: “Regardless of whether we are a queer couple or not… our identities are more than our sexualities but more of the story of growth and grit that we had for the past four years.”
Their message is ultimately simple yet powerful: love, like excellence, is for everyone. “We just can’t compromise our own personal growth for our relationship,” said Tristan. “It just so happens na yung personal growth namin, it aligns with our goals as a couple.”
As the couple celebrates nearly two years together, their story becomes more than a viral post—it’s a living testament to what’s possible when queer love is met with courage, clarity, and care.
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